Here's are examples of some of people I know (of course, all emergencies happen at 8pm on a Saturday, really testing the limits of my pull and juice).
- If you have a bat, or bats, swooping down from your attic which causes you and your wife to scurry outside and watch the bat shadows in your baby's room like a bad Hitchcock movie - I know the guy to call who will climb into your attic on all fours and talk sweetly to the bads while capturing them on sticky paper.
- If your wife walks outside to the mudroom porch and finds 12 baby snakes snaking around, I know the guy to call.
- If your cat climbs up a tree 75' high -too high for a firetruck or a bucket truck - I know the local tree guy who can climb that tree, rescue the cat, fight off the scaredy cat clawing, and descend the tree before you have time to run into the house and grab your camera.
- If you look your keys in your car while it's running, I got the guy to call.
- If you need helium balloons asap because the ones you ordered before are now flying over Eldred.
- If the DEC informs you to hire a rattlesnake expert, a mussels expert, a bald eagle specialist, and a wetlands naturalist in order to build a few homes, I know the home number for all of these specialists.
- You need to dynamite some rocks to get a foundation in, no problem - I know the guy to call.
- You need a guy to climb some trees in order to clear a path for your TV dish satellite quest, see # 3.